Crap.

At least someone remembers.

xD..

Went for tuition today. On my way out, he came. And left a big gift. and i mean it when i say BIG. After tuition, mom was giving me that cheeky smiley face which i find it somehow annoying but yet funny.

Its a BIG SIZE WINNIE THE POOH! xD.. Its so big and heavy that i have to ask mom to help me unwrap the gift. THANK YOU SO MUCH. =)..

Its just too cute! x3.. Makes me happy cause at least there is someone who remembers. Im a lucky ass cause 2 people remember. *applause!* xD..

During dinner, i was attached to the tv at the restaurant coz badminton is ON! Malaysia VS Korea, baby! When Korea leads, i think my heart skips a beat. x3.. BUT FINALLY Malaysia WON!! Yay Lee Chong Wei! Once he won, the whole restaurant went wild and start clapping and shouting. Well yeah, we should. Cause he is like, our last hope? xD..

After dinner - its time for Heart Of Greed! xD.. Heyy, today double episode leh! Must see luhh. God i cried like a baby. Seriously, this is the 1st show ever that make me cry for so darn long. Its soo.. REAL AND TOUCHING. Cant wait for next week! =D..

My eyes are puffy, due to the crying from the drama show.. Tomorrows dancing.. How?.. T___T.. Gonna dance and look like a panda bear! x3..

As most of you guys know, the PMR trial finally ended. I dont see it as a chance to relax down or chill. I found myself in a position to start struggle and juggle everything into my brain. I can assure myself, that this trial will bring more will-power to myself. Thru this trial, i found out that im actually NOT prepare for the upcoming PMR. Which is why this may be the real alarm clock in my mind to wake me up in such situation. Therefore, lets all work smart.

Well. I never say that we shouldnt have fun for once in awhile. Without fun, im probably dead by now. There are times where i want to celebrate that ive gone through the trials. But at the end. Personal reasons dont let me celebrate. Besides. I dont find anything worth celebrating anymore.

Miracle. I guess everyone is familiar with this word. It might be special to someone out there, but it might be a lame thing to someone else. I, myself to say. There is miracle IF you believe in it. In this world, everything is fair. Yes, in life we did faced some of the most unfair and pissed things in the world you think you might find. But. If we think even more further, to me, life IS fair. Its related to the things you do in life. I, for one, do believe that ive done many wrong things. My friend once said to me. I will remember it. I WILL.

"Once its done, let it be. Just believe in something, if God saw your determination of wanting it to happen. He might help you."

There are things in life that we seriously dont expect. I met a few, and it tear me apart. But at the end, i try to struggle back. And yet i do. If i want to change a situation, from bad to good, i would just do something natural and dont over do it.

I too, found that life is like waves. It can be low, it can be high in a matter of seconds. Now i found myself hanging around the high wave. Its dangerous and full of anger and the cold water brings me nothing but chills.

Today's BC exam. In the essay, theres 5 topics for us to choose. I remember clearly theres one which says : "The comparision between last year and this year's you."

I looked at the topic for a long time. In my mind its like a movie, playing all the memories last year and then this year. Last year is full of fun, precious people and cherry-sweet things in life. This year? Drama, ice-cold faces and bitterness that is so bitter that it brings death in me. What actually happen?

To be honest. I dont know. Everybody found somebody and just ran somewhere. Bee-like people are so busy buzzing everywhere. There is where i am. Standing all alone. Things happen in a matter of seconds. And i let it. Why did i let it?

Yea know what? Hah. I found something very funny bout myself. Which is, not being good enough. Heyyy, what do ya know? For a second there, i wasnt fun enough, cheerful enough, smiley enough, nice enough, or any of that good stuff. Ya know? Rejectamania! Boom! Bamm! Zappp! You're just no good enough for the people around you. You're being abandon like you're a old-age robot. Where everybody hangs out with their special ones, friends and just left you around. I can see rejection in peoples eyes, no kidding.

This is insane ya know? Staying in the middle of the night, typing some crap which i dont even know what the hell am i saying, and the next day ive got dance to go to?

This is insanity.

"Awwwww~~ Im sorry, but you're just no good enough." Well, i guess most of you dont get rejections as much as i do.

You'll never know how i feel and think. I need someone - anyone. Please, save me from dropping into hell.

xoxo
- x . t e d . x -